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Despite what recent headlines might have you think, young singles are not rejecting romance. They want love and yearn for connection. But they’re redefining what it means to be relationship-ready.
A Match Group survey conducted in September and October found 80% of Gen Z (18-29 year old) singles believe they’ll find true love, far more than any generation before them (compared to just 57% of all U.S. singles). Yet only 55% feel like they’re ready for partnership. Before committing, they believe they must first be able to set healthy boundaries (42%), be comfortable being alone (41%), feel happy and fulfilled (41%), invest in personal growth (37%), and have strong established friendships (36%) before committing to a romantic relationship.
As readiness becomes a more distant target, Gen Z is still seeking out connections online and offline. But they’re looking for lower-pressure interactions that could lead not only to new partners but also to friends, acquaintances — or something in between.
The Gender Gap: Feeling Social Pressure to Have Life Figured Out
Young singles of all genders are more likely to believe that finding themselves should be a prerequisite for partnership, but it’s young women who feel the most social pressure to do so.
While 58% of Gen Z say therapy is essential to relationship success, Gen Z women are 14% more likely (65% vs 51%) to agree with this than their male counterparts. Gen Z women (34%) also feel more strongly than men (23%) that working through issues from a past relationship is an indicator of readiness for a romantic connection. Perhaps most significantly, they are less likely (38%) than single men (46%) to say that they feel that dating is an important component of their overall social life.
The finding that young women may be more resistant to dating ties in with their belief that healthy boundaries, both for oneself and respecting those of others, is a prime indication of being ready for a romantic relationship (47% for Gen Z women vs. 37% for Gen Z men).
Across genders, Gen Z singles are 56% more likely to believe that investing in their personal growth (e.g., therapy, self-reflection, etc.) makes them “ready” for a romantic relationship compared to other generations (Millennials + Gen X + Boomers). They believe that if they have not done this work to be ready, relationships have a much higher chance of failure. For Gen Z, that prospect of failure is reason enough to delay seeking a relationship.
The result: Almost half (45%) of Gen Z say they’re not ready for relationships right now, and 75% are not in a hurry to find a partner. They’re waiting to feel “ready,” but readiness keeps receding.
The Readiness Paradox: Compounding Loneliness
Waiting to feel ready for a relationship has some complex trade-offs.
Despite championing independence, Gen Z is actually less comfortable being alone overall than older generations. Rather than seeking connections with the goal of authentic love, emotional support, or intimacy, 51% of Gen Z reports seeking connections to avoid loneliness, compared to just 26% of older generations. Women feel additional p